Fear of Rejection!

Rejection is a painful experience that we all experience from time to time.  For some it becomes a barrier to relationships because the fear of abandonment and rejection are so intense that they fail to expand their consciousness.  What happens when we are rejected?  We fear that we are not worthy, or that we are stupid or unlovable.  These are core values that I have written about before.

Fear of abandonment is an inner obstacle to being in perfect harmony within.  You can live an empowered life through connecting your soul with your Higher Power.  When the feeling hits it is normally felt in the chakra or energy center at about the level of the stomach.  Everyone who has felt this feeling will know how draining it is.  Breath into the feeling and close your eyes.  Vulnerability is a very real sensation that can be overcome when you connect with your soul.  I will write a short plan that will guide you in dealing with unexpected rejection so that you can practice and over time you will go into a mode of transcendence.  It is a process that takes place over time when you meditate daily.  The ego or small "I" identification becomes absorbed into the same power that you share with God that is your very own soul with meditation and under the guidance of a spiritual master. 
Plan
Your reaction:  Shock and sense of betrayal at being rejected by one whom you trusted.
What to do:  Take several deep breaths and sit in a comfortable position with your eyes closed.  Try to allow your heart to be still with the breath and let your mind calm down.
Your reaction:  Tense body posture and racing thoughts about why that person did what they did that leaves you with a feeling of victimization.  You will learn new ways of coping from every situation in your life as your build up your tools of transcendence.  It takes practice and situations can become learning labs for personal development.  It all depends on how you want to look at it.
What to do:  I have written previously about responsibility being an attitude that takes you into an active mode thus empowering your inner state.  You won't dwell in the victim mode.  Your first reaction or attitude should be one of the following: anger at one end of the scale to detachment at the other.  How do you get there?  It is all in how you hold the energy of your thoughts.  Your body will respond to the situation in the way you tell it to.  We store stressful emotions like anger in our body and it causes our body pH to become acidic.  Your attitude can be of allowing the other person to be the way they are.  Focus your thoughts on your own good.  They might in fact be doing you a favor by showing you their true colors before you shared something more sensitive with them than on their facebook wall. 
Your reaction:  Renuminating over the incident.  It is a typical habit for our minds to keep going over some senario in our lives and we keep the tape playing over and over in our minds. 
What to do:  When you observe yourself doing this say to yourself literally "drop it!"  This kind of behavior is learned and a way of coping that isn't going to benefit you in any way.  Let this new experience be an opportunity to learn to let go and move on.
Your reaction:  Feeling guilt and blame for the person's rejection of you.  When guilt arises it is because you have a behavior pattern that needs to be addressed.  Sometimes it goes back to how we were treated as children.  Some parents believed in shaming children as part of bringing the will of the child under control. With responsibility for how we respond to situations there is no room for blame.
What to do:  Again this is another opportunity for introspection and knowing yourself.  Journaling is the best tool for accessing our thoughts and feelings even those that you might be more conscious of expressing through the spoken word.  Let the pen roll and let your feelings go!  You may find that there are people whom you want to forgive and let go of their emotional hold on you.  If it involves family members you may take out photographs and write a prayer that releases their particular relationship from you.  Light a candle as you say your prayer.  You may have to repeat this ritual.
Your reaction:  Embarrassement.  It is natural to feel self conscious as part of identification with the small ego.  It likes the feelings that it has been accostomed to having you emotionally debilitated by. 
What to do:  Transcending the smaller identification is something that you will grow to appreciate because the more you practice the more you will live in the soul that it empowered by God.  As you get used to a more uplifting state you will notice when you are being pulled to the feeling level that has been more evident in your psyche.  You can then shift inside through taking yourself through a series of steps like those described.  Find what works for you.

David Bowen wrote a theory that was based on the level of anxiety in a family and that determines our enmeshment or detachment in relationships.  Particularly as we get older we have spent more time becoming more true to who we really are.  Adolescents attempt to look different on the outside as a sign of rebellion but they do not have the emotional maturity to feel comfortable in their own skins and depend on their peers for validation still.  The more authentic you become, others will view you as less like them and thus you will experience their rejection.  This is an inevitable outcome and the stakes are high because you can choose to stay in the comfort zone of being accepted by your family or group or of evolving into who you truly are without reservation or fear about who that is.