Will and determination

I wrote about having strong will and intention and from a Christian perspective I aroused speculation about the validity of having a strong will as part of a spiritual person.  I have always had a strong will and since I have been on the spiritual path I can center inside when I need to stand firm in highly charge emotional situations.  Having been brought up by a mother who was raised in a typical Victorian middle class manner in the early 1900's.  My mother was a competitive athlete who in her twenties became the Thames Champion for rowing.  Perhaps finding a way to mend bridges with me she described herself to me as "harsh" in the same way her mother had been.  Although my mother was strong she always became frustrated with me when I was able to keep my cool when punished.  Punishment could come in the form of scoldings which was an emotional abuse, to spanking and one time washing my mouth out with carbolic soap after she heard me repeat words that my brother was telling me to do, which was physical abuse.  I would have become a fragmented person had I taken her intrusions into my personal space and attacks at my integrity to heart.  I learned to resist and regroup emotionally and psychologically inside.  The centering that I am talking about takes place from the throat clear down to the lower abdomen to describe the anatomy of our psyche or soul.  No one ever taught me this directly but I had the natural instincts for survival early on in life.

Each trip to England to visit with my mother had the potential for abuse and I learned to cut short the visit and return to the US as an adult.  My oldest brother was sentenced to prison for a year after he was arrested and convicted of storing a suit case full of Marijuana in the attic of our mother's home where they lived together.  I returned to England to visit him in Wandsworth Prison which dates back to Dickens time and fits with the dark and miserable past rather than today.  The visit started inside a small cottage outside the walls of the prison where I was able to get registered to visit then proceeded through a sequence of check points and waiting areas before we finally reached the designated communal meeting area.

After the visit my sister took my mother and I to her home in St. George's Hill where she and her husband lived in a mansion inside a gated community.  It was a stark contrast to the sooty black old brick walls of Wandsworth Prison.  My brother was the first of four children born to my parents who lived in a region in Uganda where my father had worked for an Italian mine after WWII.  My mother lacked experience with infants and was visited by Catholic nun in their home to help her cope with the new baby.  She was told by the nuns that he was "lazy."  As a nurse I have heard the term used to describe an infant who lacks the necessary buccal muscle movements necessary to successfully feed from a nipple.  She applied the label out of context to account for where my brother's life had taken him.  I responded to her assertion by informing her about the real meaning of the term which triggered her rage toward me.  She seethed anger and shouted at me before abruptly leaving, telling my sister that she didn't want to see me anymore.  I recalled in that moment how I had felt as a child when I was shouted at and emotionally attacked by her.  I recalled how it felt as a child, like a shattering of my psyche.  Now as an adult I could immediately turn to a picture of my spiritual teacher that my sister had out in her living room and center my energy inside in one coherent and strong energetic mass.  I stayed calm and didn't get pulled in by the situation and the hysteria that followed from my sister about my having caused the reaction in my mother.  Even going so far as to accuse me of not being sensitive to her because as she went on to explain our mother felt that she had failed in her role with both our brothers as the younger brother had been murdered.

From a Christian perspective of will it is in context of applying God's will is in our lives.  God's will is always for divine order.  Even thought there is chaos in the universe and on this planet in terms of the destructive physical forces of nature there is also a reordering.  No matter how much we misuse the earth's resources the earth will restore its balance.  Someone said "We can be shaken off like a bunch of fleas!"  It is a common experience that people have wondering what is the right thing to do in any given situation or with our purpose for life and choices we make.  What you have to know is that God wants you to follow His moral commands and teachings.  I read books by my own spiritual teacher and have read many throughout the years I was with my first teacher.  You will learn how to develop your own good qualities and virtues.  There is a quality of living from a space of love.  My teacher emphasizes ethics in our lives and positive thinking and striving to become free from any negative thoughts or malintentions toward others.  When you are doing the right thing in context of being within the framework of your religious and spiritual teachings added to the ethical principles that you can apply in life you will align with the will of God. 

When I spoke about my own will I mean that I am strong in my will be aligning my soul with God and closely following the teachings of my particular path and inner guide.

I am a Professional Life Coach and welcome comments from readers.  I am available to work with individuals who wish to change their lives through first connecting with their spiritual self and following a chosen spiritual path.

I promote vegetarianism, meditation and introspection.  The following links may be helpful to you.
www.rainnutrition.com
www.SweetestVegan.com
www.sos.org