Shine your light & stand tall.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Living through emotional pain.

When we have a physical injury it is so much easier on some level to endure and I certainly don't want to underestimate the impact on peoples lives who live with chronic pain.  I wish to differentiate between emotional and physical pain because one is seen and the other subjective and unseen to the observer.  It is difficult to imagine the psychic gash to the soul that some people experience during times of emotional trauma that is caused by relationship difficulties.
I pray for those who are married and with kids to work through things together and remain as one unit because of the times we live in it's easier to stabilize the life of the kids who need certain goods and good school districts.  There is a time when people have to end a relationship if it is abusive and only that person will know when that time has come.  I encourage time to work things out on a spiritual level by learning to meditate and still the mind through connecting the soul with the greater Power of the Universe.
It takes courage to stay in a relationship and work things out and it definitely takes two to make it work.  When either partner has decided to leave it leaves no other option.  Self development is such an important part of our lives that we cannot look to our partner to fulfill our unmet needs and many of which have entered into the relationship because they have not been dealt with from our past.
If you are on the verge of chucking in the towel with your relationship I suggest that you spend time in stillness and alone and connect with your heart.  Be humble and willing to do what it takes to make the relationship work.  Meditation is key to connecting with how you really feel and if you can get past the anger and fear and experience a stillness inside you can look at what parts of the relationship are working and what can be salvaged.
Take short vacations from one another and do your separate interests so that you are not focused on having needs met by your partner/spouse.  Learn to let one person talk and wait for them to finish before responding to what is being said even if it is hurtful.  Pray inside for humility and understanding.  Be prepared to take the heat and blame and when the other person is feeling more trusting and secure you can each take part ownership of what has gone wrong with the relationship.  The stronger of the two needs to be more objective when the crisis mode is in effect.  Be patient and take a time out if you feel that you are getting impatient.
The tongue is a small part of our body but does immense damage with one short movement.  We can destroy relationships and incur guilt and shame if we don't control it's impulse to lash out.  Tell yourself that you will only speak kind and thoughtful words.  Write out hostile feelings and put them in a place that you consider sacred.  In the East they have prayer stands of pujas.  I suggest that you keep offering the broken relationship to your Higher Power.  Nothing is impossible through the Power of Love.
Meditate daily, pray often, stay in constant remembrance of your higher power.

2 comments:

  1. Excellent post, Rita -- I like what you say & how you say it. Everything rings true.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for your comments and it is like Rumi says that the broken places is where the light enters or as Leonard Cohen says "There is a crack in everything, that's where the light comes in."
      Have a wonderful day!

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self-development>relationships>spirituality