Stalking and what women should know.

Dealing with stalker became very scary when he started entering my flat when I was out.  This is very difficult to prove and for the main part people who are not in psychiatry or some field of forensics that deals with stalking, to understand the scope and depth of the damage that is caused as it is often regarded as "pesky" behavior that people assume you should tolerate.
The Los Angeles Police Department has a special unit dealing with stalkers and this came about after high profile victims became the targets of the men who were obsessed by them as admirers, often growing that relationship inside their minds to delusions of having a mutual love between themselves and the victim.
Rhonda Saunders is a criminal prosecutor who is largely responsible for the momentum that the department took in building bridges between legislature and the police to protect those who are vulnerable to the obsessive stalker who will harass the victim with various methods.  They have narcissistic personalities and are unable to relate to another adult in a normal way as their needs are so consuming which is based on fear of rejection and abandonment.  They yearn for and feel entitled to the love and attention from the victim they stalk.
Richard Babcock, a British forensic psychiatrist says "female victims of stalking usually had an extra quality, some "otherness", a vivacity perhaps, which unwittingly drew people to them.  I can perhaps see this quality in myself and have heard this from a friend in California who teaches spirituality and was stalked.  She hired an expert in stalking, took self-defense classes and relocated to another region.
I think her approach is sound because what I have learned from my experience in the UK is that the police have limited knowledge and powers to protect the victim which is very frustrating to learn in the midst of the crisis of being stalked.  Secondly because of the nature and potential for harm which has resulted in murder for at least 12 victims in the UK each year, the safest thing to do is to move.
David Smith wrote in his book "All about Jill," ..."extraordinarily determined and inventive in stalking habits, fueled by fantasies, often of power and control, threaten and intimidate on an ever increasing scale."
As Melroy (1996) points stalking is a "chronic behavior" and restraining orders may not diminish the stalkers obsession."  The public is largely unaware of the risks or statistics involved 120,000 women are stalked each year in the UK and 64% are not helped by the police.  Rhonda Sauder's took the lead in the US when she saw the gap between what was happening to victims and the response by law enforcement and said "The justice system is just beginning to understand that people are dying because of stalking, and that stalkers are dangerous criminals, not just "pests."
In the Robert Buckland, CMP helped launch an independent parliamentary inquiry into stalking and has the backing of 80 other House Members for new laws to protect the victims and make stalking a criminal offense.  Tricia Bernal whose daughter Clarie was shot five times in the back of the head by her stalker told the panel the police didn't help protect her daughter because "They didn't consider her at risk because he hadn't physically abused her."  Gordon Henderson, MP for Sittingbourne and Sheppey who is a member of the panel asserted "Unless there was an early intervention, behavior escalated and resulted in serious violence and even death."  PM Mr. Cameron is on board with making new laws as he understands the impact on the lives of the victims.
"Research shows 77 percent of the two million victims stalked each year will endure more than 100 contacts and radically change the way they live their lives before they asked for help."  I found myself feeling more frustrated after calling the police because I assumed they would help me and I was wrong.  This issue of calling the police is addressed by Jacqui Hames, a former met detective constable and presenter of the BBC Crime Watch "If the treatment they receive is less than it should be, then that not only damages the victim even further it also damages the reputation of the police officers."
My Advice:
Be aware of who is around you at all times and if someone is always showing up in your field of vision or approaching you.  Also make a note of how any encounter made you feel.
Keep a note book and note the date, time, person and what happened.  Even if it's their presence that is making you uncomfortable by staring for instance.
Alert friends and family about the problem, but don't be too shocked if they are unable to grasp the reality of your experience or how threatening the intrusions into your life are by the stalker.
Find a support group: I called the Samaritans and emailed friends to keep those who understood the ordeal up to date and so that I could vent my feelings.
Read about stalking at www.traceymorgan.com and do a checklist which you can present to the police www.daskriskchecklist.co.uk/uploads/VS-DASH%20for%20victims.pdf.  Read about how to cope on Rhonda Saunder's web: www.stalkingalert.com/questionsanswers.htm
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