Loss of a child's life.

Perhaps the greatest loss anyone has to face in life is the loss of a child.  Whether it is because of having an abortion at a time in life when you didn't have the conscious awareness about the sacredness of life that begins at conception; the loss of a baby during pregnancy from other causes or as an parent of an adult. The mother and father will always remember their baby or child who was never able to share in the times of family gatherings, instead always leaving a vacant spot in their hearts.  Pain is something that has to be endured and hopefully it will diminish over time. 

I have found the best method of lessening the power of any situation over me is to share the experience with others, some of whom may benefit by your outreach.  Some sit in silent suffering and there is no way of knowing what is going on in someone else's heart and mind.  Support groups can be a good place to start the healing process.  Margie Basarba wrote a sensitive comment on her face book page recently that touched my heart and I wanted to share her link with others because in God's design you never know who needs the information at that particular time. 

I recently heard of a family member of someone I know being killed.  It happened in a neighborhood that I knew from my earlier days in Kansas City when I used to go out on the town with my husband.  I had not heard the particular news story she referred to but I sensed that it was an unexpected death and probably a murder.  I have a particular sensitivity toward this particular situation because I also had a close family member who was murdered.  I was working at the time and seven months pregnant when I left for England and felt that I was pulled into the eye of the storm.  Murder is evil and yet there is a tendency by society to take pity on the murderer.  I always think of my brother and wonder what his life would have been like had he lived past his 30th birthday.  For me there has been no way of reconciling the facts about the injustice of it all and I wonder what he knew about his wife having an affair at the time.  It was his wife's boyfriend who shot my brother in the back of his head as he arrived home and was walking toward the entrance of the apartment building where they lived with their two young children.  The milkman found his dead body in the morning and my eldest brother was called by the police to identify his body.  The victim leaves behind a wide circle of people who will feel the loss for the rest of their lives and the only consolation is to focus on the good memories.  Their memory will always be present in the hearts of family members and it is our love for them that never dies and continues to grow.

When tragedies happen they will take us to a deeper place inside our own soul where we seek to find the answers to life's purpose and ask God to help us cope with the pain.  There are no miracle bullets as far as medications are concerned.  Meditation is a method of healing through connecting with God within your own heart that has been taught by the Spiritual Masters from the East for thousands of years.  Take time during your grieving process to go inside in silence and even if you sit through painful emotions know that it is an inner cleansing process that is taking place and that the divine power or energy that you will connect with is also supremely intelligent and knows how to remove the pain and emotional blocks.  I recommend that you work under the guidance of a spiritual master who can initiate you on the spiritual journey.  Under the guidance of a Master you can be sure that the right circumstances and conditions will present themselves in your life to make your pure as gold in the process. 

One of the philosophical frameworks that Eastern Master's teach is karma.  Our thoughts and actions will bear fruit in this life or can lead to the consequence of having to come back in another life to fulfill the right or wrong action that we did.  That's right!  The balance of equipoise is so fine in yoga that we are required to reap the fruits of our good actions also.  That is why detachment is so important to know.  I recently read that on the path of Buddhism followeres are taught to prepare for the afterlife when they are presented with incidents in which they hurt another's feelings.  In the afterlife they feel and expereince the other's anguish for which they are responsible for causing.  In order to avoid the karmic lesson by having to repeat a lifetime to learn how to respond in a more loving way perhaps, followers are instructed to look past the condition of the person or event so thay they are not hooked into or attached by the energy of what they created.  I did not read further to know what other ways might be presented to correct our karma.  This is a tool that you can begin to apply to your life now.

Perhaps I could have benefitted by this method after my brother was murdered and we found that his wife had been involved with not only trying to poison him but in buying the gun that was used to shoot him.  When I think of my ex-sister-in-law and her boyfriend I can feel less impacted by their evil deed by looking past them.  Perhaps I can also image them in a light that radiates from the stars and sun behind them or God's light (however you want to draw light into the picture.)  By looking past them and connecting with the powerful source of the universe and God you won't get entangled emotionally with the issues and energy surrounding the individuals involved. 

For those who have lost a baby through a misguided decision to have an abortion or unintentional loss of a pregnancy perhaps the same technique will help to heal.  Whenever you image the baby or see the child in other stages of normal development picture that child in white light and see if you can look past the child and join the light that is radiating into the scene from behind.  As I write this I can invission a young girl of perhaps 9 or 10 with golden hair and curly locks swinging on a rope tied to a tree limb.  Give yourself permission to grieve and continue to hold onto your faith in the after life where your child is now with God.  Allow yourself to remeber what your child meant to your and your spouse and talk about what he or she would have been like had their life continued.  Always stay in rememberance of God.  When I feel myself experience any negative thought or feeling I immediately remember my own Spiritual Master or God then feel energized and spiritually uplifted.  It is similar to driving a car and learning to listen to the engine and know when to shift gears.  It takes practice but you will inevitably steer in the right direction.

My work in the past has been in the mental health field.  I found that more and more I wanted to help people with deeper healing that takes place through connecting with their own spirituality.  For the past two years I have been writing and working as a Professional Life Coach.  My work is grounded in spirituality and vegetarianism.  The unawakened life is arrid and awakening to the spiritual dimension makes us alive and we can be empowered through our connection with God. 

Science of Spirituality is devoted to uplifting the lives of people who seek to know God in this life and improve their own lives through the guidance of the teachings of Sant Rajinder Singh Ji Marahaj.  I recommend that you check the web site http://www.sos.org/  There is information there about afterlife experiences that have been reported by so many who have had their accounts recorded.

Please feel free to contact me by email: lawrencerita511@gmail.com
I will respons to all inquiries and questions and hope to assist you to take your live from the oridinary to extraordinary.

ADHD and psychostimulants - be a proactive parent!

Today I came across a man who has given me hope and reinforced everything that I knew was wrong with a system that I had dedicated my life to - helping children and adolescents through my role as an advanced practice psychiatric nurse.  Dr. Samuel Blumenfeld provides a backdrop as to why the schools target children in the classroom for ADHD diagnoses and why they are treated with strong psycho-stimulants such as Ritalin.  http://www.newswithviews.com/, November 25th 2003.  After outlining the information presented by Dr. Blumenfeld I will then share with you my own account of working in the mental health system.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM IV,) (1994) is the bible for psychiatry and other advanced practice mental health professionals to use and match symptoms that are reported by others i.e. parents, teachers etc. and any exhibited at the time of assessment by a child.  In this case to diagnose ADHD.  An overview of Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder is given at http://www.pychiatryonline.com/ to help understand the age at which the diagnosis is be made and symptoms/behaviors that are targeted.  It is not surprising that the diagnosis cannot be made before age six because that is the time when children enter first grade as a rule and reinforces the role of the teacher in assessing a child and their relationship with the mental health system.

An important bill HR1170 passed as SB1390 was called the "Child Medication Safety Act of 2003."  Senator John Ensign (R) Nevada championed this new piece of legislation but it has since gone cold and remained under wraps.  Front runners in an effort to stop enactment of this law are as follows and some have disgraced themselves and others have either moved into more powerful positions or died.  That's life however, they seem to pack a powerful punch at the most vulnerable while they have the chance.   Ted Kennedy, Christopher Dodd (CT) Tom Harkin (IA) Barbara Mikulski (MD) Jim Jeffords (V) John Edwards (NC) Hillary Clinton (NY.)  The song comes to mind that should give them a clue even if they missed the message when their parents hopefully took them to Sunday school: Treat others as you would have them treat you (Jesus.)  Having failed that lesson perhaps they should listen to the genius of Bob Dylan - Knock on Heavens Door which I have posted on this site.  Maybe they will get the message but most likely not.  My motto is "I like people better than money!" which is counter culture to politicians like these and many others.

How the bill got taken down was through two moves brought about through H.E.L.P., the Health, Education, Labor and Pharmacy Lobby which the above gang belonged.  Then it went to a subcommittee Chaired by fellow Senator Mike DeWine.  Hick!!!  Feeling a bit woozy already - some say that certain wines have an antioxidant effect but this one feels toxic!  One parent was allowed into the meeting by the Substance Abuse Committee only because the Mental Health Lobby had vetted that person favorably. 

The Center for Disease Control and Prevention http://www.cdc.gov/ research statistics compare the DSMIV estimate of 3 - 5% of school age children with ADHD to other estimates of up to 20%.  WE NEED THE CHILD MEDICATION SAFETY ACT NOW!!!

According to Dr. Blumenfeld the number one priority of Congress is to restore parents rights to govern our children's education and medication.  He has my total agreement and more.  Another suggestion that I would like to add is that children and parents learn to meditate as the benefits counteract the very symptoms that a child gets labeled with when a diagnosis of ADHD is sought by mental health professionals and the teachers at school.  Please go to the Science of Spirituality website http://www.sos.org/ and learn how you can improve your own state of mind and physical well being and help your child to be in control of his/hers.

I worked for a short time at a mental health clinic.  The psychiatrist trained me with particular measurement tools that he liked to use when assessing and diagnosis children.  He had found that many of the children that he had seen since two of the psychiatrists had left suddenly did not have ADHD and that he had switched them to a milder mood stabilizing medication.  He later commented to the administrator who was a clinical supervisor over all mental health professionals that included me, ARNP - Advanced Registered Nurse Practitioner - Psychiatric and the MD - Medical Doctor - Psychiatrist.  Many of the children did not need the psycho-stimulants and I switched them to a less potent mood stabilizer if in my clinical judgement that was appropriate.  When the MD came back from vacation (I will add a note at the end of this blog about how fishy it seemed) the Administrator who by the way was a Social Worker called into question my prescribing with children at the clinic.  It got to the point where the MD came in for an eight o'clock meeting one morning to support me during a meeting which was called for by the Administrator.  If you know me personally you will know that I am a strong person and I went nose to nose and toe to toe with the Administrator and got fired.  My Meditation Teacher used a French saying to illustrate why I am the way I am.  She said that a good conscience is like having a feather pillow to put your head down on at night when you go to sleep.  I can always look myself in the mirror and I won't be knock, knock knocking on heavens door either!

The finalbit of juicy information I will impart is that when I went for an interview for this job the social worker/administrator wasn't present because he was on vacation in New Jersey.  Having lived on the East Coast for ten years I thought that it was a strange vacation destination for a young family.  Then when the MD went on vacation - guess where he went?  Yes!  Same place - must be fishy there or something!  One of the regular drug representatives who sold medications to the mental health center happened to come from - yes! you've got it - New Jersey.  Maybe it's all a coincidence.

I recommend that as parents you start to read and listen to what is going on right under your noses.  Wake up and be proactive for your child's sake.  There is a lot of information on the web.  Two experts that I read are Dr. Mercola http://www.mercola.com/ and Dr. Tenpenny http://www.tenpenny.com/.  Your kids future will either be okay or not depending on how awake and astute you are.  Don't slumber in your ignorance and let your child fall victim to the system.  They will be burdened with enough with the cosmic sized national debt that they and future generations will have to repay.  I also recommend that you join groups of parents who are home schooling their children.  Explore your options and don't be afraid to be different and stand out from the rest of the parents.  Your child deserves better!