No sorrow with the past.

Recently I have read a book about a wild life conservationist in Kenya, Joan Root whose life was dedicated to filming and documenting how the animals lived.  She was a mother to several orphaned wild animals at her home on the shore of Lake Naivasha in the Great Rift Valley.  She married young and as sometimes happens in middle age her husband chose to live with someone new and left her to take care of the home, land and animals that her life had been built around.

This story was particularly near to my heart because I too am from Kenya and used to care for wild animals when they were injured or sick as a child.  My sister and I took care of a gazelle or small animal that would resemble a fawn in America.  We fed the little creature with a baby bottle and were highly protective or it's environment.  We also took in a little monkey at the same time that we were staying on a friend of my parent's farm at Lake Rudolph near the border with Somalia. 

This was the first chapter in my life and my memories are still vivid.  I no longer can be around the people or events that were the norm for me yet even reading about similar stories brings me back to how my life started out in Africa.  There is an African saying that where you are born is your soul's home and that understanding makes it important for African American's who are decendants of slaves to revisit the site in Madagascar where they were shipped to the New World.  The ties with our soul's home are real and strong and cannot be brushed aside or put away in our psyche.

The difference now is that I am in terms of life events on my third chapter of the book.  After my father died of cancer in Kenya my mother moved us to an English village where she had grown up.  In my early thirties I moved to the United States and now am back in the Mid West where I started.  I have a grand son and roots here now.  Although I have a brother in England with whom I contact on a fairly frequent basis I will stay in the United States as long as I can.  The past becomes like a dream and it doesn't bring the pain and anguish that it once did.  This is the beauty of a spiritual life.  You shed all the ego's heaviness and attachment to people and objects.  You are completely freed from pain and that was my experience.  Living in the present is a joy because whatever happens is like watching consciousness passing by or an old movie being replayed.  There is no attachment to anything now but mindful effort to do things to the highest standard that I possibly can.

Sorrow is part of the ego.  It is natural and a person would feel compassion for anyone who feels sorrow.  My Teacher has pointed out that when we have a choise to transcend and allow whatever happens to us happen without any movement of feeling in response to the outcome.  This is harmony and balance taken to a higher level.  We can mindfully equate different areas of our lives and bring them into balance and harmony.  Taking that a step further we learn to see all as equal and that keep the balance sustained during times of trial and tribulation.  The term that my Teacher has used is Equipoise.  This is the goal of yoga to be in harmony whether ourlives are looking good or not.  When we get to the point that we are not saddened by the times when we don't have what we want - usually for me that has been money we keep the joy inside.

I mentioned before that I have been told to look upon people who cause difficulties in our lives as Angles.  If we are not exposed to people who are able to arouse some negative response inside they are doing us a favor because we wouldn't be aware we still had those issues left inside.  All the things that cause disequilibrium are attachments and you will be given opportunities under the Grace of a Master to free yourself from them.  You joy is yours and that feeling of bliss is the fruit of your spiritual labor.  Treasure what you have and don't give it up when someone acts in a way that is distressing to you.  Keep your mind focused on the area of the heart and you will reach that same level of bliss that you will experience in meditation when you are wide awake and engaged in life.


I recommend that you meditate daily, follow a vegetarian diet and journal.  You will soon make progress and when you meet your Master for spiritual initiation you will be truly ready for the journey to liberation.

I work as a Professional Life Coach and my passion is to assist people to develop spiritually and from that optimal space inside attain their goals in life.  Please feel free to contact me at lawrencerita511@gmail.com

Spiritual Awakening

I first met my Teacher in the summer of 1986 and had a profound inner experience when she initiated me to the spiritual life.  Meditation teachers guide the student to liberation and the path is one that is freeing but as you shed the old self the ego undergoes an intense struggle at times to let go.  These times bring anguish and despair because we want to still remain with what we have become to know about ourselves that is conditioned and within our comfort zone despite the contrary.

Freedom from all the inner obstacles and social conditioning that we falsely identify with is worth the effort.  My teacher used to say that freedom is like a two-winged bird, one wing is self-effort and the other is the Master's Grace.  The relationship with the Master is one of love and learning about our true nature through spiritual practices and meditation.  Eastern philosophy teaches that we already are one with God but we just have to wake up and realize it.  Because we have been taught that God is some where other than in us we experience a sense abandonment by God.  Most of us at some time in our lives feel that God has not responded to our needs etc.and doesn't care about us. This is because of the dichotomy of thinking of God as other.  Once you are initiated by a living Master you connect with the Master and God and find deeper understanding and meaning in your own Religious teachings and beliefs.  Through a process your heart is opened and you will experience a great joy and love inside. 

My personality is to be a strong person and that is sometimes difficult for people to see in me when I teach about spiritual things.  There is a perception of spiritual people as somehow in la la land or that the feelings of protection etc. don’t exist for spiritual beings.  In my own experience becoming spiritually awakened means that my light bulb is on and when I see danger I recognize it for what it is.  There is a fallacy that is promoted among the new age groups that they think that going into the new age will be a wonderful journey.  I believe in absolute truths and one of them is abortion is wrong.  Evil exists and 911 was one such manifestation of evil.  When for instance I see things that our government does against its people I am concerned.  What is motivating our government to move against us?  I listen to Alex Jones and keep up on the latest technologies etc that are being used against us and would recommend his site http://www.prisonplanet.com/

I will put three instances forth to illustrate my point.  Today I read that the United Nations has warned the United States about our policies and treatment of illegal immigrants.  I have been a supporter of Governor Jan Brewer of Arizona and Sheriff Joe.  They have been investigated and harassed by the DOJ who in turn then turns a blind eye to two New Black Panthers who intimidated voters in Philadelphia.  You cannot be a cherry picker and be in charge of our country's laws.  They can either uphold our laws and protect our citizens or not.  Of course we have our vote, but the damage that has been done is going to have its effect.

Secondly, a lawyer who represented a young teenage girl has been investigated and disciplined by the Bar Association.  This is an example of Sharia law having more authority over the United States Laws.  I hope that there is going to be some oversight and examination into how complicit the bar has been in their dealings with other government and Islamic agencies.  There is more to this disciplining of the lawyer than meets the eye.  I hope the public rally to his cause because he doesn't deserve to be treated with anything but respect and admiration for helping a young Muslim girl who was in fear for her life after she converted to Christianity.

Thirdly, there are ten soldiers at Fort Leavenworth, Kansas who have been charged with crimes as serious as murder for carrying our orders in the face of the enemy in Iraq and Afghanistan.  My thoughts are – what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.  So if the foot soldiers go to jail so should the people who gave them orders that they carried out and are now facing criminal charges as a consequence.  It doesn’t worry me how high up the ladder of command we have to go but let's have some equal justice here!

It seems to me that the only justice that the government is interested in is social justice and I believe that we should work for the life style we wish to have.  Having a system that encourages and forces people to step up to the plate and produce makes us resilient and expands our awareness and talents.  I like to write and now blog and will edit material that I have written for a book to sell when I give a talk I have been invited to give in a college town outside Kansas City.  Have always held strong opinions and analyze things well.  Through my dedication to my spiritual path I have a strong faith and trust in my ability to see what direction to take in my life when things are difficult.

Perhaps the one example I gave about our government lacking integrity is the one about the lawyer being disciplined for being unprofessional.  In my own experience I have found the government run boards are not the ones to set an example for what the standard for professional behaviors should be.  After winning a one and a half year battle with the state boards of nursing they then posted my license as revoked on their web.  My documentation of the whole affair will have to be handled by an attorney because now I have no other choice other than to clear my name once more.  I believe that the lawyer who represented the young Christian convert was acting as a responsible and caring professional and the government has become tainted with political correctness.  They need to change the prescription in their glasses. 

In my experience as a spiritually awakened person I feel compassion for my fellow man.  Mahatma Gandhi certainly did and acted according to his convictions.  He was not a wimp!  He emphasized how he felt about others ideas that were wrong: “I will never let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi.  It is important not to let people do or say things that are contrary to your good nature.  You have done the inner work to make yourself pure so don't let other's murky thinking enter your energy field.  I will speak about our field of energy at another time.  It is the feeling you get when someone gets too close for comfort and invades your space.

I believe that it is for this reason that you will see Teachers advise against a negative environment or people.  When you spend time with people who have not unburdened their garbage that has been festering you will become polluted.  Due to my own situation of not working for almost two years now I have spent most of that time with a friend and her husband.  I am gone all day as I work on projects at the library and have made many friends and acquaintances on line. 

There are different stages once the spiritual journey has begun.  In the beginning there is a dedication to meditation and practices that clear away the old junk that has caused us to identify with an ego that is other than the true person that we are.  The second phase is learning to live a transcendent life and you will still have your particular personality that will draw you to concentrate your life on whatever it is that your particular calling is.  For me it is writing and teaching about spiritual life.  I will enjoy expanding my repertoire as an extra or having small parts in movies.  I enjoy public speaking and wish to educate people more about what Colonial Kenya was like and what the families who settled there did for the country.

My own life is centered on meditation, prayer and repeating the Suriname or names of God that correspond with the vibrations of the chakras making them resonate with practice to the same frequency as the sound.  I have a great sense of justice and have worked very hard to become a citizen of the United States and get my education.  I hope that these values will be recognized and respected by others who believe that we are a nation of laws and justice that is centered on our Constitution.

If you would like to contact me please email: lawrencerita511@gmail.com