Stalking and what women should know.

Dealing with stalker became very scary when he started entering my flat when I was out.  This is very difficult to prove and for the main part people who are not in psychiatry or some field of forensics that deals with stalking, to understand the scope and depth of the damage that is caused as it is often regarded as "pesky" behavior that people assume you should tolerate.
The Los Angeles Police Department has a special unit dealing with stalkers and this came about after high profile victims became the targets of the men who were obsessed by them as admirers, often growing that relationship inside their minds to delusions of having a mutual love between themselves and the victim.
Rhonda Saunders is a criminal prosecutor who is largely responsible for the momentum that the department took in building bridges between legislature and the police to protect those who are vulnerable to the obsessive stalker who will harass the victim with various methods.  They have narcissistic personalities and are unable to relate to another adult in a normal way as their needs are so consuming which is based on fear of rejection and abandonment.  They yearn for and feel entitled to the love and attention from the victim they stalk.
Richard Babcock, a British forensic psychiatrist says "female victims of stalking usually had an extra quality, some "otherness", a vivacity perhaps, which unwittingly drew people to them.  I can perhaps see this quality in myself and have heard this from a friend in California who teaches spirituality and was stalked.  She hired an expert in stalking, took self-defense classes and relocated to another region.
I think her approach is sound because what I have learned from my experience in the UK is that the police have limited knowledge and powers to protect the victim which is very frustrating to learn in the midst of the crisis of being stalked.  Secondly because of the nature and potential for harm which has resulted in murder for at least 12 victims in the UK each year, the safest thing to do is to move.
David Smith wrote in his book "All about Jill," ..."extraordinarily determined and inventive in stalking habits, fueled by fantasies, often of power and control, threaten and intimidate on an ever increasing scale."
As Melroy (1996) points stalking is a "chronic behavior" and restraining orders may not diminish the stalkers obsession."  The public is largely unaware of the risks or statistics involved 120,000 women are stalked each year in the UK and 64% are not helped by the police.  Rhonda Sauder's took the lead in the US when she saw the gap between what was happening to victims and the response by law enforcement and said "The justice system is just beginning to understand that people are dying because of stalking, and that stalkers are dangerous criminals, not just "pests."
In the Robert Buckland, CMP helped launch an independent parliamentary inquiry into stalking and has the backing of 80 other House Members for new laws to protect the victims and make stalking a criminal offense.  Tricia Bernal whose daughter Clarie was shot five times in the back of the head by her stalker told the panel the police didn't help protect her daughter because "They didn't consider her at risk because he hadn't physically abused her."  Gordon Henderson, MP for Sittingbourne and Sheppey who is a member of the panel asserted "Unless there was an early intervention, behavior escalated and resulted in serious violence and even death."  PM Mr. Cameron is on board with making new laws as he understands the impact on the lives of the victims.
"Research shows 77 percent of the two million victims stalked each year will endure more than 100 contacts and radically change the way they live their lives before they asked for help."  I found myself feeling more frustrated after calling the police because I assumed they would help me and I was wrong.  This issue of calling the police is addressed by Jacqui Hames, a former met detective constable and presenter of the BBC Crime Watch "If the treatment they receive is less than it should be, then that not only damages the victim even further it also damages the reputation of the police officers."
My Advice:
Be aware of who is around you at all times and if someone is always showing up in your field of vision or approaching you.  Also make a note of how any encounter made you feel.
Keep a note book and note the date, time, person and what happened.  Even if it's their presence that is making you uncomfortable by staring for instance.
Alert friends and family about the problem, but don't be too shocked if they are unable to grasp the reality of your experience or how threatening the intrusions into your life are by the stalker.
Find a support group: I called the Samaritans and emailed friends to keep those who understood the ordeal up to date and so that I could vent my feelings.
Read about stalking at www.traceymorgan.com and do a checklist which you can present to the police www.daskriskchecklist.co.uk/uploads/VS-DASH%20for%20victims.pdf.  Read about how to cope on Rhonda Saunder's web: www.stalkingalert.com/questionsanswers.htm
lawrencerita511@gmail.com

Keep on keeping on.

My meditation teacher used to say that when we experience struggles in our lives and have strong ups and downs, we learn to be resilient so that when we have an enormous test of inner strength we will be able to get through them.  This at least has been so for me in my own life because it hasn't been easy since my father was diagnosed with cancer when I was just six years old and died when I was nine and a half years old.

There is so much that goes into character building.  It isn't always the clean slate, straight A students that are able to succeed in life because they can't fight for their lives.  They may get into positions of power and act as bullies I guess.  I think that President Barack Obama as an example of someone who really isn't cut out to do well in the competitive business world but can throw his weight around as a politician.  Now we have Jerry Brown who has been described as being "one the government teat all his life," as the new Governor of California.  Not a good scenario for our country to have leadership such as this guiding the greatest country in the world in the most troubled time.  Get the feeling that we could nickname the golden state the "Titanic!"  Well one thing I feel fortunate about for sure is having Kris Kobach for Sec of State, Kansas and Gov. Sam Brownback and Sen. Moran.  At least Kansas can be put back on track and people who don't belong here legally probably won't want to challenge the system.

Politics affects our capacity to work and without jobs even those preparing for their professions are sunk because it is going to take years now to rebuild the economy.  I hope more people will go into some kind of small business for themselves as a way of trying out new ways of making a living.  One of the companies I have recently connected with is http://www.rainnutrition.com/ and I hope you will check it out for the antioxidant natural products.  Please contact me via email with your thoughts or let me know if you would like me to put you in touch with the top sales man Jimmy Ezell.  It is a fairly new company out of Utah and is expanding its markets globally.  Now is the time to get on board.

I have found that when I'm going through a particular challenge that messages pop up and speak directly to what I have to do to accomplish my objective.  I am a strong person because of my life experience and when a priest posted a note about having to fight in life I knew I was on the right path today.  My approach is always to fight back.  I have a soft English accent but behind it is an iron fist inside a velvet glove!  Once someone tries to bully or intimidate me I will do all in my power to fight back and have a zero tolerance for anyone who has stopped me from working.  I have essentially not been able to work for the past two years and now have sent documentation to the LA Times.  I have had lots of support with contacting a Senator and having my case sent to the Kansas Governor's office.  I am no wuss!!  More to come as I get things lined up and talk with an attorney.  More of a bulldog than a negotiator.  How do you like it when you hear how your tax money has been used in two states CA and KS to "go after" a nurse.

Meditation is the key to all problems.  Whenever there is a problem there is always a solution.  I meditate in the morning and evening regularly and it is during that time that solutions come to me or sometimes as I take a walk in the autumn sunshine.  For instance after I sent my request to a senator I was uncertain whether he would respond.  Then I got the idea to contact all the politically active people I knew and have them call his office.  It worked!!  Also I have had legal fees to pay and no income.  I did work for a few weeks this past summer and after they didn't pay me for my last week I gave it over to a lawyer I owed money to and hey presto!  Sometimes you have to look at a problem from different angles.  Develop a flexible mind through meditation.

I hope that you are happy with the election results.  Work in the political arena and make politicians accountable for what they do or don't do.  They are working for you after all aren't they?

I work as a Professional Life Coach and welcome you to contact me at lawrencerita511@gmail.com
I am also a wellness consultant and recommend a regular practice of meditation and vegetarian diet.  Check out the antioxidants at http://www.rainnutrition.com/

Focus on your intention

It is when I have to face daily challenges and overcome obstacles that I learn more about myself and my capacity to see situations through different prisms.  You have to be chrystal clear my teacher used to tell us about everything in your life.  God likes order and when we are aligned with His will in our lives we can achieve what we set out to do.  Have you noticed how much is coming out of the darkness and into the light these days?  That is because there has been a shift in the public awareness about corruption and how the government operates.  Remember the late Senator Stevens from Alaska who took his case to court following a trial about corruption.  He was able to present evidence to a Judge that the prosecutors in his case had actually been lying and this upset the Judge who exclaimed that in all the years of service he had not been lied to like this!  I believe that he was not as attuned to corruption as he is today and that is a similar trend with all of us.

The government has protection from being sued called sovereign law except in special circumstances and my bet is that the Senator found someone who made a statement about what was being done to criminalize him that was not legitimate.   I admire the Senator from Alaska and his family for standing up for their lives and reputation.  My teacher used to say that when a problem seems so immense that we feel overwhelmed by its power over us bring the problem into proportionate size as ourselves.  Also on the spiritual path there is only room for love and there is no fear.  Love to me isn't defined as a rag doll response to issues in life but a robust and confident response that reinforces your personal power and respect.  Gandhi is a role model whom I admire for his tenacity and ability to rally the forces against oppression.  I often like to use his quotes on http://www.Twitter.com/Langata145  You are welcome to follow.  Always remain positive in your thinking and outlook because "The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible and achieves the impossible." ~ author unknown.

When you have an issue in your life that you need to pursue be chrystal clear about your intention and meditate where you will find the answers come to you inside.  For example recently I have owed money to a lawyer and forwarded information to their collection person about a nursing agency that I had worked for in the summer that had not paid me.  The check was sent in the mail immediately and I then took it by the law firm office and signed it over to them.  Another check that was sent from my brother in law was not honored by him after my mother's death who had given it as a birthday gift.  My brother has lost the sight in one eye due to my sister punching him and I have kept in touch with him on a regular basis and informed him that that check is at the lawyers office for collection.  Responsibility is the ability to take action in any situation that takes your personal power back from those who would like to make you a victim.  That is responsibility in a nutshell.  The choice is yours.

My intention for today is to focus on correspondence and linking with key players who have been involved in a case that I have been dealing with for the past two years.  I always believe in the saying where there is a will there is a way and will is something that I have been writing about lately.  Stick to your guns, reload as Sarah Palin says and don't ever let anyone make you a victim.  Your personal power is the same power that makes up everything in the universe and that is the Power of God!  Don't diminish it by throwing away your self worth like pearls under the feet of pigs.  Take responsibility for your self respect, love and power today.

My background is in mental health and I now work as a professional coach.  I take clients who are committed to spiritual growth and incorporate their spiritual self into all aspects of life.  Their is no duality.  Please feel free to contact me at lawrencerita511@gmail.com

Spiritual Awakening

I first met my Teacher in the summer of 1986 and had a profound inner experience when she initiated me to the spiritual life.  Meditation teachers guide the student to liberation and the path is one that is freeing but as you shed the old self the ego undergoes an intense struggle at times to let go.  These times bring anguish and despair because we want to still remain with what we have become to know about ourselves that is conditioned and within our comfort zone despite the contrary.

Freedom from all the inner obstacles and social conditioning that we falsely identify with is worth the effort.  My teacher used to say that freedom is like a two-winged bird, one wing is self-effort and the other is the Master's Grace.  The relationship with the Master is one of love and learning about our true nature through spiritual practices and meditation.  Eastern philosophy teaches that we already are one with God but we just have to wake up and realize it.  Because we have been taught that God is some where other than in us we experience a sense abandonment by God.  Most of us at some time in our lives feel that God has not responded to our needs etc.and doesn't care about us. This is because of the dichotomy of thinking of God as other.  Once you are initiated by a living Master you connect with the Master and God and find deeper understanding and meaning in your own Religious teachings and beliefs.  Through a process your heart is opened and you will experience a great joy and love inside. 

My personality is to be a strong person and that is sometimes difficult for people to see in me when I teach about spiritual things.  There is a perception of spiritual people as somehow in la la land or that the feelings of protection etc. don’t exist for spiritual beings.  In my own experience becoming spiritually awakened means that my light bulb is on and when I see danger I recognize it for what it is.  There is a fallacy that is promoted among the new age groups that they think that going into the new age will be a wonderful journey.  I believe in absolute truths and one of them is abortion is wrong.  Evil exists and 911 was one such manifestation of evil.  When for instance I see things that our government does against its people I am concerned.  What is motivating our government to move against us?  I listen to Alex Jones and keep up on the latest technologies etc that are being used against us and would recommend his site http://www.prisonplanet.com/

I will put three instances forth to illustrate my point.  Today I read that the United Nations has warned the United States about our policies and treatment of illegal immigrants.  I have been a supporter of Governor Jan Brewer of Arizona and Sheriff Joe.  They have been investigated and harassed by the DOJ who in turn then turns a blind eye to two New Black Panthers who intimidated voters in Philadelphia.  You cannot be a cherry picker and be in charge of our country's laws.  They can either uphold our laws and protect our citizens or not.  Of course we have our vote, but the damage that has been done is going to have its effect.

Secondly, a lawyer who represented a young teenage girl has been investigated and disciplined by the Bar Association.  This is an example of Sharia law having more authority over the United States Laws.  I hope that there is going to be some oversight and examination into how complicit the bar has been in their dealings with other government and Islamic agencies.  There is more to this disciplining of the lawyer than meets the eye.  I hope the public rally to his cause because he doesn't deserve to be treated with anything but respect and admiration for helping a young Muslim girl who was in fear for her life after she converted to Christianity.

Thirdly, there are ten soldiers at Fort Leavenworth, Kansas who have been charged with crimes as serious as murder for carrying our orders in the face of the enemy in Iraq and Afghanistan.  My thoughts are – what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.  So if the foot soldiers go to jail so should the people who gave them orders that they carried out and are now facing criminal charges as a consequence.  It doesn’t worry me how high up the ladder of command we have to go but let's have some equal justice here!

It seems to me that the only justice that the government is interested in is social justice and I believe that we should work for the life style we wish to have.  Having a system that encourages and forces people to step up to the plate and produce makes us resilient and expands our awareness and talents.  I like to write and now blog and will edit material that I have written for a book to sell when I give a talk I have been invited to give in a college town outside Kansas City.  Have always held strong opinions and analyze things well.  Through my dedication to my spiritual path I have a strong faith and trust in my ability to see what direction to take in my life when things are difficult.

Perhaps the one example I gave about our government lacking integrity is the one about the lawyer being disciplined for being unprofessional.  In my own experience I have found the government run boards are not the ones to set an example for what the standard for professional behaviors should be.  After winning a one and a half year battle with the state boards of nursing they then posted my license as revoked on their web.  My documentation of the whole affair will have to be handled by an attorney because now I have no other choice other than to clear my name once more.  I believe that the lawyer who represented the young Christian convert was acting as a responsible and caring professional and the government has become tainted with political correctness.  They need to change the prescription in their glasses. 

In my experience as a spiritually awakened person I feel compassion for my fellow man.  Mahatma Gandhi certainly did and acted according to his convictions.  He was not a wimp!  He emphasized how he felt about others ideas that were wrong: “I will never let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi.  It is important not to let people do or say things that are contrary to your good nature.  You have done the inner work to make yourself pure so don't let other's murky thinking enter your energy field.  I will speak about our field of energy at another time.  It is the feeling you get when someone gets too close for comfort and invades your space.

I believe that it is for this reason that you will see Teachers advise against a negative environment or people.  When you spend time with people who have not unburdened their garbage that has been festering you will become polluted.  Due to my own situation of not working for almost two years now I have spent most of that time with a friend and her husband.  I am gone all day as I work on projects at the library and have made many friends and acquaintances on line. 

There are different stages once the spiritual journey has begun.  In the beginning there is a dedication to meditation and practices that clear away the old junk that has caused us to identify with an ego that is other than the true person that we are.  The second phase is learning to live a transcendent life and you will still have your particular personality that will draw you to concentrate your life on whatever it is that your particular calling is.  For me it is writing and teaching about spiritual life.  I will enjoy expanding my repertoire as an extra or having small parts in movies.  I enjoy public speaking and wish to educate people more about what Colonial Kenya was like and what the families who settled there did for the country.

My own life is centered on meditation, prayer and repeating the Suriname or names of God that correspond with the vibrations of the chakras making them resonate with practice to the same frequency as the sound.  I have a great sense of justice and have worked very hard to become a citizen of the United States and get my education.  I hope that these values will be recognized and respected by others who believe that we are a nation of laws and justice that is centered on our Constitution.

If you would like to contact me please email: lawrencerita511@gmail.com

Start where you are - don't fence your self in through inner obstacles.

Somehow it is human nature for us to believe our lives need to be improved in some area such as education or finance and that we cannot start on a course of action because we convince ourselves that the fences are real and allow them to hold us in.  Break free of the fences that corral your life into a tight and limited space.  Be bold.  Be true to yourself and step out into the unknown with confidence.  Journal and enquire of yourself what is it that keeps from giving your all to your life.  Why do you chose to take the short stick and risk exposing yourself to heights of self discovery and achievement?  Only you can do this work nobody else can do it for you.  Once you find out what your particular barriers are, you can start to erase and reverse your thinking and experience.  Are you afraid of public speaking perhaps which is a common phenomenon because we fear inside that we are going to be ridiculed, not respected or any number of imaginings. 

I worked with a young man once who overcame fear of being on stage for his part in a play in front of kids in a new magnet school.  We meditated together and everyday at home the young man and his mother made this a regular practice for calming the mind and stilling their inner being.  These two results made it possible for him to go in front of an auditorium full of people without fear.  He had to experience calm and confidence inside and have a steady mind before he could appreciate what a pleasurable experience sharing his talent was for him.  We also used the worrier yoga position that was developed and used by people to tap into that part of our psyche and consciousness that brings out the warrior in us.  He literally went from worrier to warrior because of his self effort.

When you identify a part of yourself that doesn't want to participate with you to uplift your life, shine the light into that part of your life and then it will loose its power over you.  You are in control of your life and destiny and you can smile at what lies ahead because you can trust yourself to create the right circumstances for your success.  If you are afraid of failing school, enroll in school and get a tutor.  I have not always got great grades because I believe one of the reasons is that I am an independent thinker.  That is not a bad thing but you have to be aware that there will be consequences to seemingly going against the system that you philosophical differences with.  For instance I got a low grade from my professor for writing a paper because I didn't agree with applying only one philosophy in the nursing field.  For one thing I through it would be boring and for another each individual doesn't fit the same cookie cutter.  When you feel what you have going on is not going for you, you have to make it happen through change.

I always tell myself that I can make it through courses.  I have taken numerous hours of chemistry for instance and for someone who left school at fifteen it was quite an accomplishment.  Pull all your resources together and make sure that you put time and effort into what you do.  Give your whole self to what you chose to do and don't go for half measures.  Be prepared to sacrifice for your schooling as that will award you with opportunities ahead that you don't yet imagine.  Do things the right way.  Don't cheat on tests or plagiarise other's work when you write papers to be handed in for grading.  It has been my experience that this is quite the norm as I had a mentor in graduate school who was a graduate of Boston University in a very competitive program.  Her advise to me was to keep a drawer in a filing cabinet in my Sorority and share papers that particular professors had graded favorably.  I saw some of my class mates passing papers between them in the hallways.  I would always rather do my own work because you are the one who is going to be accountable for producing that knowledge in your work place by making the right choices and other job performance measures.

Faith and prayer is a big part of how I go about doing things and if God wants you to do a particular thing you will be awakened to and driven by that powerful urge to further your education, buy a particular property or whatever it is.  Pray and some people use fasting which works for many and is recommended in the Bible.  Be humble before God always and let His love guide you.  Be careful for what you wish for the saying goes.  Similarly be careful what you pray for because you most likely will receive what you ask for.  Once you have been infused with the energy and desire to create wealth, knowledge, health etc., in you life you will then take the next step in the process which is action.  Experience yourself energetically in the place where you want your goals to materialize.  For instance when I moved to the Bay Area in California I actually could see myself there and had contacted people and thus started the ball rolling.  I also cared for one of the most lovable and remarkable people I have ever known.  So we might be drawn for a certain purpose and God will have an additional purpose for us as we are His servants here on earth.  My friend had an immense influence on my life and I have felt great love for him ever since.

Learn to modify your goals and dates that you have set to achieve them.  Bruce Lee said that we don't necessarily have to achieve our goals, it's the process that counts towards our happiness and character building.  There are no mistakes, only learning experiences.  Meditate regularly and if you feel a certain resistance or block let the meditation guide you to your next step.  You have the answers you need inside and you will learn to trust in your abilities to meet all of your needs.  Start each day early.  My Teacher used to say the best hours for meditation were between 3 and 6 am before the world awakes and the earth is still.  Meditation allows you to go deep inside and connect with your higher self.  You can take care of your daily chores and self care needs and have your day planned before breakfast!  Connecting on the inside makes it easy to focus on what your priorities need to be and what steps are necessary for you to reach your daily goal.  Set a main goal for yourself and then break it down to weekly and daily goals.  Self talk is important so don't be overly critical if you don't achieve the outcomes you wanted.  Be grateful for what you did accomplished and know that the next day you can reevaluate your strategy and start again.  Never give up.  I repeat never give up.  You will be able to make breakthroughs, you just need time.  Whatever you give yourself to will yield fruit.  When things appear to not be working out you don't know how this will benefit you in the grand scheme of things.  It might mean that money will come to you because of a project you have given yourself to and perhaps someone stole the project from you because of their lack of knowledge about universal laws.  Know that if anyone intentionally tries to harm you through stopping you from earning the money you deserve it will haunt them.  The laws of attraction and karma work that way.  It will hit them in the back as they say.  Just be patient, use your resources and keep working on your goals.  Sarah Palin says that her father told her to "Reload the gun!"  That means not walking away from aggressors.  Apathy is not a good thing and in my experience is disempowering.  Put your power behind what you believe in and keep walking and praying as an African American friend once told me to do.

I will use two quotes to summarize what I have written:  "Cherish your vision and your dreams, as they are the children of your soul, the blueprints of your ultimate achievements." ~ Napoleon Hill.  "All great achievements require time." ~ Maya Angelou.  Walk with the Lord in your heart and your life will shine like a bright star.  When you have walked the path don't shut the gate behind you but stand at the gate and welcome others to journey with you to free themselves from their own inner limitations and obstacles that will lead to success.  God bless you!

Please feel free to contact me:  lawrencerita511@gmail.com

Knowledge is a two edged sword and by that I mean that knowledge alone is limited to the sphere of man's understanding and motivations; knowledge that is acquired by a spiritually awakened person is like the nectar drips off the honey comb.   Knowledge without connection to your higher power or God is limited and arid.  Life without God to light the flame of love within your heart leaves a person to rely on their own limited ego. 

Islam has scholars of math, medicine and astronomy but have not explored the realms of possibilities in the universe that is God's creation.  It is because we as Christians and other religions have a different concept of God.  Their concept of God is one who directly intervenes in their lives and holds the knowledge to the universe that is outside of their scope of relationship with the Creator.  I am by no means an expert on Islam but in essence these are basic differences.  Our God is creator and as His children have use all of His natural forces for our good.  In the Old Testament God can be viewed as a mighty force who punishes.  In the New Testament Jesus shows us that God wants us to know His Love for us and expects us to show this love to one another.  It is simple, pure and true.  Love conquers all.  In the West we have been given authority and power to pursue and understand God's might in the universe as we have explored space.  This power has to be used for the good.  There is great responsibility within the model of a God who allows us to connect with all that he has created from the tiny components of a cell to the infinite realms of space. 

Without a true surrender to your higher power whatever path you take, Jesus or Buddha for instance you have to totally love God with all your heart.  Spiritual teachers such as Gandhi have transcended our limited human nature that includes negative emotions such as hatred and jealousy and their soul has merged with God's in this life.  Thus they can be viewed as Divine beings.  Their lives become a life of service and helping seekers connect with God and start on the path toward their own spiritual liberation.  Christianity is a way to connect to God through Christ and in that there is freedom from sin and liberation from life where there the experience is either arid or downward spiraling and hopeless.  Because the message of Christ is pure Love and the teachings give the disciple a map to becoming a better person.  If the person is sincere Christ will direct their lives through His Grace to understand how to live a good life and it is not something that has to be earned it is given if that person remembers Jesus and listens. 

Spirituality gives the seeker an experience of God through a direct awakening under the guidance of an ascended Master who has either been born into this life as a fully spiritually liberated being or has reached that state through his/her own self effort and the Grace of his/her Master.  There is no God to obey in the sense of the Judo Christian God Yahweh who even gives Commandments that must be taken seriously and followed.  My current Spiritual Master teaches that the soul begins at conception and this is in alignment with the Church.  Many teachers do not approach absolute truths and these truth's will only become alive for the person when he/she reaches an inner state of purity.  Then the truth is known but I believe that it is essential that people follow laws set out for them both to protect themselves as well as others long before they gain the consciousness to recognize this absolute truth.

People have gained medical knowledge to heal as well as kill the most innocent among us - the unborn.  Knowledge without Love which can only be experienced through our relationship with a higher power is exhaustive and has the potential for the misuse of power.  The power of God's creation is available for us to know but so many times the people who explore have limited knowledge of God.  Without God all knowledge is for self gain and thus a potential to harm others.  Self gain is sought when there is ego.  When one is under the direction of a Spiritual Master as I have been, they will bring into being circumstances that make one face the small ego inside yourself and that is a painful process but worth the fruits of freedom from ego.   It is a dying of the self to God.  It is total surrender.  Once a person has transcended the limited self then knowledge will arise with good intentions and for the upliftment of mankind. Whatever one has learned at some point then is offered to others because like the great Masters themselves our lives become acts of Love.  Our love for God is expressed as love for others.

So many people on the spiritual path I have noticed are able to be present in the moment when chanting or participating in other spiritual practices with a total focus on God.  However, as soon as the spiritual activity is over it's back to the usual way of being.  Many people judge others which Mother Teresa has said leaves no room for the most important thing, Love.  I think that it is a difficult task to transcend the ego and unite with love in spiritual liberation and as my Teacher has explained, it takes up to four life times to attain absolute freedom thus never having to come back to clear karma.  I have wondered why the door to their hearts are closed to love.  During a visit to my Teacher I attended a talk where she described three doors to the heart and that some people had their doors closed.  After the talk I walked to the dormitory where I was staying and had to cross a lobby.  As I stepped into the lobby the door behind me suddenly slammed shut.  I wondered whether fire alarms where about to go off as there was no other reason for it to have slammed so hard and unexpectedly.  As I approached the door ahead of me it too slammed shut in the same dramatic way.  Shortly after I saw my Teacher as I stood by one of the doors in this same lobby.  As she stood by me she suddenly reached out to my heart area with a grabbing and twisting motion.  I believe that she was taking out the knots in my heart.  That is the beauty of having a living Master to guide you on the journey and I am eternally grateful for the Love that she has allowed me to experience in my own heart.

I believe that people who are homosexual and not accepted by various religions are like the rest of us as a group with some who are spiritual and wanting to know God.  I believe that they should be treated with respect but that it doesn't include partaking in the institution of marriage.  I believe that the sanctity of marriage is for the communion between a man and a woman as well as procreation of life, thus providing a guarantee for future generations.  One of the temptations that we have now is the control of conception through science and this procedure enables gay couples to have their own children through the various means necessary.  It is this reliance on our own control that is ultimately what leads us away from God.  Not just away from our conceptual understanding of His laws, but of our relationship with God in our hearts.  The path to enlightenment can be seen as a continuum thus some people will be further along than others.  For children I pray that they will have parents who love them and that the secular view of family is not one that is right for their well being because children need to bond with the parent of the opposite sex as part of their own sexual identity formation in their early childhood years. 

Spirituality is good and the path is one through which one becomes elevated through the teachings and direction of the Master to experience love and respect nature and mankind.  Because of the lack of a framework of religion there is a potential for misuse of the power of knowledge before one develops more fully.  The experience of God is felt inside the heart.  For instance when someone sees a beautiful landscape or sunset their is a recognition of God's majesty and love for His creation.  These kinds of experiences help us to connect with God and then relate to God's natural world as stewards as we see the sacred within all that he has created in much the same way that the Native American Indians.  Religion has a framework that teaches about absolute truths such as do not kill.  Islam actually commands people to kill, so all religions do not equivocate to the same relationship with God.  Spirituality lacks such frameworks and my first teacher did not comment on such matters.  A book written by her own teacher listed all kinds of social problems as things that the organization did not hold an opinion about.  I felt from the beginning that I have strong feelings about some things and abortion is number one on my list and that I wanted and needed for that issue to be addressed.  I believe that it is the responsibility of the teacher when students or disciples are not advanced enough to recognize the sanctity of life that it needs to be defended. 

I in no way have wanted to offend anyone of judge others behaviors by writing this article.  It is written from my own experience and I too have sinned.  My Teacher says that each time we attend an initiation that we are absolved of wrongdoing and sin.  When you know what actions you need to take to keep pure do them.  If you are Catholic, repent your sins and attend Church and partake in Holy Communion.  Know that all life is awakening and wants to live their lives out naturally.  Be tolerant but that doesn't mean that you stop speaking power to truth or truth to power.

Please feel free to contact me:  lawrencerita511@gmail.com