Intrussiveness

We all have things that pluck our nerves!  Culturally as an English person keeping my voice tone low enough to keep my conversations private is something that comes naturally.  It disturbs me when I am in public and hear conversations that I would rather not.  Being made into an unwilling participant by others behaviors that I object to the most.  When challenged with intrusiveness I have to gauge my emotional reaction and try to refocus my thoughts onto something more constructive and positive.  For instance I will read on listen to a tape so that my focus in on what interests me and then the loud voice tones of people who don't seem to mind pouring all of their personal experiences out in a public forum seem to fade into the distance.

Keeping strong boundaries is important for your own good and for the good of those around you.  Etiquette is something that people seem to know less about these days now that cell phones for instance have become a normal way of communicating no matter where the person is when he/she answers.  In fact I have found myself in the rest room and being a reluctant participant in a loud conversation about everything that is important to the person on the phone. 

One of the things that you can do when calling someone is ask if it's a convenient time to call.  They don't have to necessarily tell you "no" because they are on the john, but at least you can know before laying out your agenda that the person would prefer you to call back in 5 minutes.  Keeping your conversations when meeting with someone as brief as possible is always a mark of common courtesy.  Recently I attended a meeting where I was a reluctant participant to a long and exhaustive demonstration  of how to make garbanzo beans into a puree.  The man obviously liked to be the center of attention and put great emphasis on points so small that I almost went to sleep standing up.  Where do people get their idea that they can have all your attention from?  Again I found that the level of voice tone was high and it emphasized his need to lecture everyone about how easy it was for him to show us how to be cool!

I remind myself that I haven't done the spiritual work so far to waste it by slipping on a banana skin so to speak.  What I do in these situations is realize that it's a test for me and I then repeat the mantra's that my Teacher has given.  So in these moments of frustration can be turned in to spiritual tuning and focusing on God's name.  Someone once told me that when people are problematic they are like angles that help us go deeper into our practices. 

There are several things that can be intrusive in life and perhaps the thing I don't like is loud voice tones and bad manners generally.  When people have difficulty expressing their emotions they can turn it into anger and when they are unable to deal with the anger it turn inward as depression.  Anyone who has been around a person who is depressed will note that their mood can be said to be at least cranky.  Recently a friend of mine who is depressed picked me up from the library and when I said that I had emailed a person she dramatically positioned her arm in an outstretched motion to introduce what I had done followed by an emphasis on AAANNNNDDDD!  I was aghast with shock!  Who did she think she was talking to and did she really know me?  I have not allowed people to abuse me and refuse to at this stage in my life.  When I responded by asking why she was angry she got even angrier and has since accused me of confronting her.  I believe the two examples I have used are actually narcissistic people who are so wrapped up in themselves they don't care about how troubling their outrageous intrusion is.

Distancing is a natural response for me when I need to get some space and that is what I have done with my friend whom I am staying with unfortunately.  I spend the day at the library where I can use wifi and then go back to her home after 6 pm.  There is very little time to spend with her before I shower at 8pm and go to bed at 9pm.  I recently responded to a t.v. program she was watching about Obama and his father by telling her that Ganish De Silva had written a book about his father when she said that Obama had seen his father only once in a very defensive manner.  I said that he might have only seen him once but had written a book about him.  With that she shouted about that wasn't all that I have said and that has meant that my conversations have been limited.  Who wants to talk with someone who is a loose cannon?

In all we all have to deal with people in our personal or work lives who intrude and lack manners.  In the work arena it is better to try to find ways of getting along with colleagues and if that doesn't work then you will have to face the problem through a superior.  These are growing experiences for all of us who would naturally rather avoid confrontation.  My first real experience with learning how to confront was when I worked with a nurse named Juanita who was very butch and had a moustache.  She was abrupt and bullying because she thought that way she could be boss.  My supervisor said that I would have to approach her at the beginning of the shift to check in with how she was feeling.  It wasn't long before Juanita slammed the door in my face.  I got through that and have been able to meet other challenges that haven't been quite that bad since.

Meditation is the one spiritual tool that helps me to unload all the negative feelings that can build up because of relationship issues.  By sitting in meditation everyday you allow yourself the natural healing power to dissolve emotions that tie up your own energy or power.  It is uplifting, doesn't cost a penny and will improve your emotional, mental and physical health.

My work is as a Life Coach and I will work with you on areas in your life that you want to manage and improve.  You can achieve your goals no matter how far they seem from reality for you.  You can do it!
Contact me at lawrencerita511@gmail.com

Being pulled back by the past.

Most of us have the feeling of being pulled back by the past.  It may be memories that are sweet and full of the magic that made an aspect of our lives more vivid.  Such as attending a beautiful ceremony, listening to an opera with a great tenor or something that captivated our soul.  Most of us however, are drawn back into the past because we feel the longing to complete an aspect of our lives such as a broken relationship.  Unresolved conflicts with loved ones who were cruel to us that we hang onto because that pain has found a perfect home within us and it's easier to keep a feeling that is familiar than learn how to clear the negativity from our consciousness.  They don't have to exist because quite simply they don't exist any longer.  It is your minds propensity to drag you down that never ending spiral of negative emotions when we start to recall the past.

It is not a blocking, denying or suppressing that I am talking about.  It is an inner clearing and recognizing when negative emotions grab our inner soul and turn our inner experience into one of pain and anxiety.  When you go back into a bad memory all of the emotions associated with the occurrence are rekindled and the more you allow your mind to take you back the faster the experience will recreate and the more intense the feelings.  The reverse also true.  Once you are able to clear inner negative junk that has accumulated from past experiences through meditation and other spiritual practices such as prayer and mantra repetition called jappa you will be able to monitor your inner state and immediately recognize and respond when negative thoughts occur or a negative feeling attaches itself to your inner state. 

Set aside at least half an hour daily to meditate.  Choose an area that will be undisturbed and keep it clean and prepared for meditation.  As you sit there and meditate regularly the energy or power that you tap into in meditation will accumulate thus making it easier to go into meditation.  Please see my Youtube.com meditation tape for instructions.  Your mind will come up with all kinds of reasons why not to meditate and when you sit to meditate it will chatter and your body may ache.  Let it all take its course as it will eventually go away as your heart becomes lighter and full of love.  The heart rules the mind and you are in control of your mind and emotions.  It takes a disciplined practice to walk the spiritual path but your choice is to stay at the level of pain due to spiritual contraction or to follow the teachings of liberated Master's who can show you the way.  When I taught adolescents in a detention center how to meditate I used the analogy of what it's like to keep walking into a brick wall and then realizing that life can be approached differently.  It's up to you when the time is right you will want to change.

Things that you can do to focus your mind on positive things when you wake up is to keep a picture of your higher power by your bed so that you connect visually with that Being before you have time to think of anything negative.  Repeat the name of your higher power or mantras that you have been given by a Master.  Breath deeply and easily and thank God for the new day.  Gratitude is an uplifting spiritual practice.  One practice that I have done and found beneficial is to picture my Master's feet above me in the shower.  In the East the feet of the Guru are conduits for God's power or Shakti to pour out to the devotee.  That is why Indian's touch the feet of the master and some worship the sandals or padukas that represent the Guru's feet.  Know that you are being cleansed of all past actions as the power of the Master's feet flow down to you and all negativity's are washed away in the water from your body.  Grow in silence.  Learn to be quiet with God.  That means not having the television or radio on even as background noise.  The more you are silent and the less your senses are pulled outward the more you will connect with your heart.

If you have a particular issue with someone that is causing you inner distress try to go inside and ask yourself to identify what it is that needs to be resolved.  Journal after meditation and what that you experience in meditation will come up if you need to work on particular issues.  Try to resolve problems with relatives and friends and if they are not open to discussing the issue then you will have to pray and release them from your life.  You cannot win every person or battle in the way you would like to end things.  People can have control over many aspects of your life.  They can steal your money for instance or try to do you out of an inheritance as has happened in my family but they cannot change how I respond with detachment and love.  This Power that we possess likes to be in harmony and if people cause disharmony it won't be something that we can live with.  Especially as we are developing on the spiritual path it is good to stay in good company with others who are also on the spiritual path.  For enlightened Master's they can handle the bad karma and energy of people.  Learn to be protective of your own Power.

Your diet is a key component for your spiritual development.  Choose foods that are full of life and have the energy giving force in them still.  I have often seen people eat vegetables that look wilted.  How can that possibly charge your cells?  Become mindful about all that you expose your body to.  That means buying clothes and products that have not been produced by way of harming animals.  In the health food stores there are many organic products that are non-animal tested.  Be aware of the harm caused through dies.  I am a nurse and a patient told me that his great toe and bone became infected due to wearing socks with a dye that got under his toe nail.  If you can wear organic cotton socks with natural dyes.  Gradually your consciousness will want to choose these things for now be mindful and decide what you can give up.  If you can eat only vegetarian foods.  If you buy animal produce Wal-Mart buys from farmers who allow the animals free range.  Buy locally if possible from farmers markets and select the heirloom fruits and vegetables.  The usual store varieties and genetically modified and there are questions about the risks to our health.

Be gentle with yourself.  Learn to structure your day and keep to routines.  Cook for yourself instead of eating out and enjoy the simple foods.  Rest and keep to a regular sleep pattern that will support you spiritually as you meditate and connect with your heart and higher cortex of the brain.  You have been used to responding to emotions that can be brought under control.  Keep to the practices and you will reap the fruits of your efforts because you will have the Grace of your higher power to support you.

Please feel free to contact me at: lawrencerita511@gmail.com